My little stink, Claire. She celebrated her big 2 year old birthday in July. I wasn't able to have her 2 yr old check up with our regular pediatrician until September. At that time I expressed to Dr. Roads that I was worried about her speech. Of course you compare your children. What age was Addie doing this and saying that. Well, I believe Addie came out talking and therefore it might be part of Claire's issue with not expressing what she wants because her big sister Addie says and does everything for her. (those of you that know my Addie Lou know this as truth!!) However, in talking to Dr. Roads he did feel that Claire was severely delayed for her speech development and wanted to have the state screen her for that as well as her hearing if they requested for it to be checked.
Our first screening was last week with an in home visit from a lady with the state. She asked me several questions about Claire and I answered those and then she ended up "playing" with Claire by asking her to do several different tests. Some of which I thought were obvious and that Addie at her age would have done swiftly and Claire acted like she didn't understand anything. At that point I felt a hard knot form in my throat and wondered is this my fault? Don't we as mothers always wonder if it is our fault? I know not all, but in some way did I have a bearing on her delayed development??? I was okay through the rest of the testing and I did not shed a tear, but I continued to feel the hard knot in my throat, you know the one that is there right before you start to cry?
Chris comes home for lunch after the screening was over with and he asked me how it went. I broke into tears!! What if this is my fault because I don't get her little toys out to play with like I did with Addie. Claire just follows Addie's lead and plays with things a 5 year old plays with. Addie learned all of her shapes, colors, and objects from Rhonda at daycare. Had I just let Claire fall "thru the cracks" because I would assume she would learn all of that to, on her own???? How could I be so stupid......and on and on I went. Chris is trying to calm me down and it worked for a little while, but I couldn't get this self-doubt about the situation out of my head!!! You got to love satan, right? He was loving that he was kicking me when I was down, because had I thought to pray about it before then??? NO!!!!
That night when I laid down and prayed, I prayed for the Lord to give me a peace about it and to totally turn it over.
Yesterday Claire was screened again, but this time it was a lady that was testing her to see if she qualifies for the state to pay for any type of speech therapy or for an audiology screen. We won't know how she did until next week. I am no longer in tears over it and I know that Claire understands what I say to her, it just breaks my heart when she points and gets frustrated with me because I don't understand what she wants.
I will keep you posted on the situation and would covet your prayers for my little stink.
I have had so much fun taking the girls pictures this past week. Claire and I had her little "photo" session one morning while Addie was at school. I had ordered them some Matilda Jane Clothing thanks to Kristin!!!! I really love their clothes. They are a little bit more than Gymboree, but Addie and Claire love how the clothes feel and they will wear them all day without complaining, which is HUGE for Addie. I may have found yet ANOTHER girls clothing weekness.........
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